angsty art

Posted: November 10, 2014 in Uncategorized

butterfly confession copy il_170x135.94452854 flower girl2

…and so. this is a series that i started about 3 years ago, and then school happened. the ‘ethereal girls’ were shelved, some were shown, and a couple sold. i have a few more panels that are unfinished/in progress and am trying to continue the momentum i had started. sometimes i’m jazzed about this series, sometimes i feel defeated because several are gone. i wanted a BODY of work, completed, to show!

anyway…as i was painting today, i had that old familiar feeling of annoyance, random negative thoughts bubbling up, vague irritation. this is something i’ve noticed in the past – painting doesn’t necessarily always give me that ‘in the zone’ blissed out feeling that i think it’s supposed to. i find i’m often in a hyper-aroused state of intense enjoyment of the physical process (paint, colour, application, happy accidents), slight irritation (is this really looking how i intended, why can’t i ever find the right sized brush and why is there cat hair on THIS brush again?), along with various, random thoughts about my job, my family and annoying tasks and people in general. EVEN IF i have a nice candle burning and some new age-y crap on in the background. maybe this is why i sometimes go into painting with a feeling of dread? i read somewhere (probably eric maisel) saying that you have to be able to ‘tolerate the anxiety’ of creating…i believe this is what he’s referring to and is likely my biggest procrastination point.

on the weekend a friend of mine, a painter said ‘i love painting, always feel good when i’m in the studio.’ how does one get into that state of confident flow? perhaps wine is involved…


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